Shitford Cop Simulator
You've become a cop in Shitford, a town of 67 residents who like to drink while driving and park crookedly outside their shopping center. Get a dog, track who pooped on the lawn, track down marijuana growers and money launderers. Catch flashers, set up speed cameras and expand your police station.
You’re the newest (and only) police officer in town.
Congratulations. Your job? Everything. From chasing reckless drivers who think stop signs are “suggestions,” to investigating who left a suspicious brown deposit on Mrs. Cranberry’s lawn. Track down small‑time marijuana growers, wannabe money launderers, and citizens who believe pants are optional in public spaces.
Build and expand your tiny police station
starting with a single desk and a coffee machine that hasn’t been cleaned since 1998. Unlock new tools, set up speed cameras, upgrade your equipment, and adopt a loyal police dog who is significantly more competent than most of the town’s population.
Shitford may be small, but it’s packed with big problems,
Weird characters, and daily chaos that only a rural town can produce. Keep the peace, enforce the law, and try not to lose your sanity.
A light‑hearted, comedic police sim where small-town nonsense becomes your full-time job.
Key Features
Small‑Town Chaos: Patrol a quiet rural town where normal days turn weird fast: crooked parking, bizarre complaints, suspicious lawn incidents, and residents who treat laws like polite suggestions.
Investigations & Odd Jobs: Handle everything from reckless drivers and noise complaints to marijuana growers, amateur money launderers, and citizens who believe pants are optional.
Police Dog Companion: Adopt a loyal partner who sniffs out trouble, tracks suspects, finds evidence, and occasionally solves cases faster than you.
Station Expansion: Upgrade your tiny one‑desk station into a fully equipped HQ with new rooms, storage, tools, and functional upgrades.
Tools of the Law: Use speed cameras, ticket books, scanners, reports, and an expanding set of police gadgets to keep Shitford under control.
Dynamic Residents: Interact with a cast of quirky locals: honest citizens, troublemakers, eccentrics, and people who swear they “did nothing wrong” while standing next to a burning vehicle.
Light‑Hearted Comedy: A humorous police sim where small-town nonsense becomes your full-time job, and every shift brings a new absurd story.
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