Snemovna
An absurd survival horror satire set in the Czech Parliament. Sneak through corridors, hide from politicians, and collect real campaign promises in a game full of memes and bizarre buffs.
“You'll finally find out what's going on in the Parliament, both during the day and after midnight.”
No press conference, no open house. The Chamber of Deputies is opening its doors full-time! Step into a unique blend of an assistant simulator and a heart-stopping horror experience. Can you meet the needs of our lawmakers in broad daylight and survive their nighttime rampage by flashlight?
☀️ DAY SHIFT: Parliamentary Assistant Simulator
Forget about a cushy job in an office. From 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., you’re a jack-of-all-trades who keeps this political theater running. You could even say you’re the most important person in the country!
Hard Work: Morning cleaning, mopping up vomit or blood, collecting fresh trash or empty beer bottles, and getting rid of cobwebs.
Carrying out twisted tasks: Politicians are hungry and have specific needs. Bringing them sandwiches, cleaning up trash in offices, or searching for “normal white powder”. Plus, at 12:00, a brutal lunch and smoking break begins.
Relentless Quotas: The difficulty increases every day. If you don’t meet the daily quota, you’ll get fired.
Watch Out for Their Wrath: If you refuse to complete a task for a politician, they might get angry, activate their horror mode, and end your career (and life—typical) prematurely.
Endless Mode & Upgrades: Play as long as you can handle the pressure. Use the crowns you earn to upgrade your stats and buy absurd perks. New tasks, local events, and much more will be added.
🌙 NIGHT HORROR: A Struggle for Survival, Promises, and Bribes
As soon as night falls, the Chamber of Deputies transforms into a dark maze where nocturnal creatures—who (supposedly) never sleep—come to life. Choose your nighttime objective:
Classic Horror: Weave through the hallways, hide in lockers or ventilation shafts, and find 10 real campaign promises in the political parties’ offices.
Theft: Forget the promises—go for what’s most valuable. Steal as many valuable items as possible (including boxes of wine, cartons of eggs, and subsidies) and get out before it’s too late.
Bribes: Carefully sneak through the shadows and try to bribe as many politicians as possible.
Sneak and Listen: Don’t shine your flashlight for no reason. Listen for footsteps. If a politician catches you, they won’t drag you to the police—they’ll take you to their office for an endless lecture on a “better future.”
🍕 A Czech Survival Kit and Absurd Synergies
Replayability is ensured by the random spawning of offices, politicians, and items. To survive and clean up effectively, you’ll use purely local equipment:
Utility items: Bread with a schnitzel, socks in sandals, beer, homemade plum brandy, bitcoins, or the holy trinity of pork, dumplings, and sauerkraut. From holy fried cheeses to a DVD featuring a nondescript politician.
Absurd Buffs: Combine food and alcohol to reach insane heights. Being drunk will bring you a huge dose of luck, but also the risk of total bad luck! Likewise, watch out for strange open-faced sandwiches.
National Economy: The main currency is the Czech koruna. Find forgotten 5,000-koruna bills and spend them at the legendary parliamentary cafeteria on mysterious delicacies.
Patriotism: This will be a system of patriotic challenges where completing them can unlock new modes and characters. For example, finding selfies from Alenka, unlocking speedrun mode, and so on.
🏛️ An Authentic Virtual Tour
You’ll explore poorly rendered nooks and crannies—from the main assembly hall through a labyrinth of corridors to the dungeons. School field trips are no longer necessary; here, you’ll even see what was meant to remain hidden forever.
👥 Choose Your Hero
Choose from the current 8 playable characters (more are planned), such as the Villager or the Townsperson. Each character offers specific advantages and disadvantages for both day and night modes. In horror mode, you have 3 lives (until you finish your last bottle of beer). For the assistant, it’s failing to meet the quota.
