ZetaZania Part 1: Vampire Pirates from Uranus
A retro 2D action-platformer where you battle vampire pirates on Uranus. Fight through 60 levels, defeat bizarre enemies, solve clever puzzles, and overthrow a twisted empire obsessed with sexiness.
An Epic 2D Side-Scrolling Comedy Action-Adventure
Humanity is being harvested by a beauty-obsessed vampire empire hidden in the rings of Uranus.
In ZetaZania, a massive space station built by sinister vampires, blood is power and perfection is law. As Earth’s top operative, you must fight your way through a society of seductive monsters, cosmic witches, and ruthless elites to bring the entire system crashing down.
Welcome to the Weirdest War in the Solar System
Humanity is under attack… by the Sexy Vampire Pirates from Uranus.
Deep within the planet’s inner ring lies ZetaZania, a sprawling space station ruled by a twisted, beauty-obsessed vampire empire. Humans are harvested for their precious life elixir, and sexiness is law.
You are Earth’s top military operative.
Your mission:
Infiltrate. Fight. Climb the ranks. Destroy the empire.
Retro Action. Modern Feel.
Jump, shoot, and fight your way through 60 handcrafted levels in a fast-paced 2D platforming adventure that blends classic gameplay with smooth, modern controls.
Tight, responsive retro-style movement
Satisfying combat with escalating intensity
Puzzle-focused challenges where skill matters
Optional visual puzzles for additional upgrades
Simple to play. Difficult to master.
Secrets, Upgrades and Strange Deals
Take on optional puzzle challenges to encounter a mysterious figure. Make the right choices to unlock upgrades that can change how you play.
Explore the Madness of ZetaZania
Battle through 7 bizarre and dangerous districts, each with its own identity:
Transportation Factories
Scientific Laboratories
Department of Sexiness
Divine Sisters of the Mighty Moons
The Sacred Few
Queen’s Palace
King’s Lair
Each zone introduces new original artwork, enemies, and a unique boss encounter.
A Cast You Won’t Forget
Face more than 50 original enemies, each with distinct personalities and behaviours.
From seductive space vampires to cosmic witches and strange alien creations, every encounter is designed to be memorable.
Retro Style, Reimagined
Detailed 2D pixel art enhanced with layered lighting effects
Vibrant alien environments full of color and atmosphere
3D pre-rendered cutscenes styled to match the pixel art world
A nostalgic 90s-inspired aesthetic with modern visual polish
A Story Packed with British Humour
Experience a universe filled with absurd lore and original comedy.
Ruled by King Scrotumous Maximus, this society values beauty above all else, while humanity is reduced to a resource.
The tone is strange and entirely unique.
An Immersive Soundtrack
Enjoy a rich electronic score by Jonny Towers, combining modern production with retro sci-fi influence to bring the world of ZetaZania to life.
Why You’ll Love It
A completely original comedic sci-fi setting
Classic platforming gameplay with modern refinement
A wide variety of enemies, locations, and challenges
A strong focus on fun, creativity, and personality
